*Captain Jack Sparrow voice*

“Gentleman! You will always remember this as the day you *ALMOST* out-tanked Coach. Adam. GASE!!!!”

They did it. It came down to the wire, but the Jets somehow pulled it out. On a last minute, desperation heave by Raiders QB Derek Carr, the pathetic Jets were slain by the slightly less pathetic Raiders.  The Jets are now 0-12. Their dreams of a “perfect” season, and Trevor Lawrence, remain alive. 

It was a game where the Jets, at one point, turned the ball over on three consecutive drives. A game where they seemingly refused to tackle or cover Raiders TE Darren Waller. A game where they suffered multiple penalties on third and fourth down. And yet! And yet! All they had to do is make a tackle. Make a tackle and you win! The only thing that could possibly go wrong is if they somehow let the Raiders get a one on one shot to the end zone with no safety help….andddd oh my god that’s exactly what they did, isn’t it?

Make no mistake, Gregg Williams deserves to lose his job for this. The fact that he all out blitzed, in game where the Raiders needed a touchdown, with thirteen seconds left and had no timeouts, is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed with my own two eyes. I mean….think about it, he made that decision because he actually thought it would help them win. HOWEVA!

I don’t want this to distract from what a thundering nincompoop Adam Gase is. Because, in this game, we discovered something truly special. Since needlessly alienating and releasing Le’Veon Bell, Gase has leaned heavily on nursing home escapee Frank Gore to be his lead back. He has endured a lot of criticism for this, with fans reasoning that perhaps featuring a 37 year old veteran on a young rebuilding team wasn’t the soundest of moves. But with the recent injury to rookie Lamichal Perine, it’s not like they had other, younger players that could pick up the slack. Even if he’s old, surely Gore was being played because he was the best option right?….RIGHT????

WRONG, IDIOT. Of course the players behind Frank Gore were better than him.  Because he’s THIRTY SEVEN. So when Ty Johnson and Josh Adams were forced into the lineup by a Gore concussion, it shouldn’t have been a huge shock that they combined for 178 yards on a whopping 6 yards per carry. If two younger guys were capable of this all season, why in the name of Mangold’s hairy tummy HAS FRANK GORE BEEN THE LEAD BACK FOR 12 WEEKS. Make no mistake, the most decisive reason that the Jets had such a good chance to win this game was because Frank Gore was unable to play. It’s now clear that in spite of his dopey shoulder-shrug playcalling, Adam Gase *does* have the talent to produce a running game. But he refuses to innovate. He refuses to change. Winning would require trying something new, which in turn would force him to admit some kind of fault or blame, so he’d much rather lose by force feeding a player approximately one decade past his biological prime. This man has an empty Pringles can rattling around his skull where a brain should be. 

I’m so, so tired of talking about him being bad. I’m tired of talking about the Jets being bad. Luckily, with the number one overall pick nearly in their grasp, we won’t have to have these same conversations in 2021. That’s all you can hope for right now.